Well done…… ( I had a similar encounter or two when I was a kid/teenager, but, unlike with you, I managed to fight my way out before nothing really happened, but I was a tough kid… which makes me think… how many other men have similar stories which they take to their graves)
It must have taken a lot of work, and a lot of balls, to be able to tell your story… ( and, considering the physical description you gave of yourself… I suppose it makes people less inclined to believe you… )
I have spent months working with the victims of war-time rape down here…
( in some cases they were even women/ girls I knew, at others, family …. a few men also.) and even with the general support within the population- and the fact that they were war-time rapes… ( meaning that the victims were a part of an organized campaign of using rape as a weapon- not a “personal” encounter- which, up to a point, alleviates the “guilt trip” part that some rape-victims suffer) the damage that was done by these encounters is, simply, undiscribable, and most people do not even understand that something like that is not a “one-off” incident… something that you can simply brush off and move on ( you got fucked.. so what.. people get fucked every day and they live on…. or, even worse, your girlfriend asking are you gay…. female victims of rape being asked what did they do to entice it… or even hearing- “come on, you liked it”) ) — these are things that keep following you for a long long time, maybe forever — and, unfortunately, very few come out the same ….
…. To be honest — your story really got to me only when I saw you mentioning how it took you 20 + years to be able to trust a male doctor… these are the kind of details only the ones who truly went and are still going through it all know. …
anyways.. I simply wanted to give you a round of applause…. again, what you did takes a lot of guts .. much more than people can understand