Nice read…..
I have , fortunately, been out of the dating circle for a while now ( and I don’t miss it) but I do seem to remember a few things from back when….
One thing is for certain, if a girl/woman, likes you and she already decided to give you a chance - what you say won’t matter much ( unless you make a complete ass of yourself) - the same thing applies to when she doesn’t like you- she has already decided that she will say No- and there’s nothing to be gained by becoming too pushy or aggressive.
That being said, there are a few points that seem to be universal: The most important of which is confidence. IF a man is confident in himself and his intentions, it shows- it shows in our body language, the way we talk- and women pick up on these things automatically- approaching someone while thinking “there’s no way she’s gonna accept “- is a definite way of getting refused.
Another thing is to never hide your intentions. IF you are interested in someone romantically, don’t try to pass yourself as someone who is trying to be a friend, or something else. Again, women have excellent senses for these kind of things, and there is nothing to be gained by pretending. Make your interests clear- just don’t be offensive, pushy or overbearing- there’s no fater way of having a woman get as far away from you as fast as she can than tarting to appear as some sort of a Creep ( most women have had their share of various Creeps running in and our of their lives, and they do not need another)
What is useful, ( at least in my experience) when asking someone out, is to be confident, and to not leave them too much time to think, or delay the decision. ( also, you want to avoid her taking too much time in “thinking about it” and dissecting the situation with her friends- chances are at least one of them is going to find that there's “something off” with you- and that will be it)
One little “tactic” ( for lack of better expression) I used — was to “Ask-but-not-ask” .. for example: After I met the woman who is now my wife, ( whom I truly met accidentally when I needed a lighter) I had very little time to make a move before we went our separate ways. During the few minutes of conversation we had, she told me where she was working, and it was just a few minutes from my building. so, the next day, I walked into the store, aid hi, and asked her when does she get off work- she said at 20 00…… I nodded, said “I’ll pick you up then” - and walked out.
Later, at about 19 55 that night, I walked into the store again and imply asked “are you ready”- he said yes… and the rest, as they would say is…..
Just one more piece of advice from someone who has done his share of asking women out: ( it goes together with the part of being confident) : always be yourself. Never, ever, pretend or lie about who you are and/or what you are- there’s no way of over-stating the importance and the power of female “BS detector” — and it detects people who are trying to show themselves as something different automatically. This is even more important when you think that by pretending you can fall “into her category” : for example: You hear — notice that she has a preference for, let’s say, outodoorsy types- and you just happen not to be one of them. IF you try to pass off as that kind of guy, she has ( most likely) met “outdoorsy” types before — so, she will know that you are lying about your preffreneces- even if you are a master liar- and manage to pass off as what you think is her type, for a bit of time- she’s bound to figure it out sooner or later- at which point she will shut you off for good. women do need, and look for security ( just generally not in the ways we imagine) And by showing yourself as someone who lied to her from the start- ou basically said that you can not be trusted about anything — and that is it….
On the other hand, unlike us ( men) women are much more forgiving and accepting when it comes to our flaws and “bad” behavior- A woman is capable of forgiving/ignoring may things when it comes to a man they are romantically interested in- for as long as that man is honest with her.
Just be yourselves, don’t try to show yourselves as something you’re not, be confident, but not overbearing- and, you will still get a NO from time to time… but it will happen much less than if yo are an insecure SOB who feels the need to lie in order to get into her pants.