I don’t know how old you are, but, as someone who met his wife in his mid-30's- I can try and give you a piece of advice stemming from what I experienced…

( In fact, I told this story before on Medium, but, in this case, it functions- this is the short version)

Just like, ( I suppose) a lot of other people, I had a couple of real relationships when I was younger but, overall, never thought about getting married, settling down etc… I believe I was simply having too much fun.

Then, when I actually started thinking about it, I quickly became convinced that I am simply not “that kind of a character”,, so I might as well keep running around and enjoying myself.

Then, at 35, one night, as I got bored working on a book I never finished in my apartment, I went out to have a walk and, go for a drink at a small-hours watering hole. As I was walking and I remember it was midnight ( A source of jokes with me and the wife) , I really wanted to light a cigarette, but I had no lighter. Then, standing at the crossroads, there were these three girls chatting- apparently not quite wanting to separate and go home, two of them had lit cigarettes. I approached, asked them for a light, and one of them, said something. We exchanged a couple of sentences, I learned where she works, I found her charming , so, after a day or two I went to her place of work about closing time and took her out… less than 9 months later we were married.

and that is the point, there was planning, waiting, hoping, there were were no long engagements, years of dating and questioning and “making sure” …. Once We ran into each other — It just went completely naturally from there on.

So: do not bother with it. Do not think about it, wait for it, expect it…. Just, leave it be- IT will happen when it is time for it to happen-